The Four Agreements

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you really mean. Avoid using the power of your word to speak against yourself or gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and kindness. Our words have the power to create ripples; to create an atmosphere of safety, respect, learning and trust. They also have the power to work against our goals and the common good or purpose. Choose your words with intention to create the sort of experience you desire for yourself and others.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to the actions and opinions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. Nor will you feel the need to get defensive and create conflicts. It isn't necessary for us to believe others' judgements about us-- even if they are positive. Approval needs to come from within. You can trust yourself to make the right choices when you also remember not to take your own opinions of yourself too personally.

3. Don't Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. Most of us have been socially trained not to ask questions at all; that it is unsafe or impolite or more than we want to know-- but making assumptions is the result that can often yield 10 times the level of discomfort-- including inner and sometimes outer conflict-- for no reason at all.

4. Always Do Your Best. Your best may vary from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply challenge yourself to do your personal best-- no more, no less-- in any given moment. By doing this, you will hopefully avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

(this is a brief summary of a book by the same name)